I don’t know about you, but my spam folder is full.
Apparently I have a friend from Dubai who is named WEB ADMIN and he wants to help me with my SEO and I NEED to do it now. My spammy friend really likes what I write, but he sounds a little like a robot.
He’s kind, my friend. His link says that he guarantees me profits if I visit his site and sign up.
He must have a sister and her name is indiagirl. Indiagirl wants to clutch my rss feed and subscribe to my page, but she cannot find out how. She needs me to sign up for her website, but it’s different than her robot brother. Both of them seem like aliens.
Spam on your computer and spam in your head
My computer spam folder is full right now. I love the feeling I get when I empty the folder. It is gratifying to send the robotic letters into the misty Ethernet. My brain’s spam folder gets full too. I wish my brain had a button that said “Empty Spam Folder.”
I’m probably much weirder than you. My brain gets full of spammy things that float around there like cognitive orphans. Here are a few of my spammy bits:
- Ideas that might work someday, but just not right now.
- A few regrets and a little pain. I shouldn’t have eaten the bag of cookies because I feel puffy afterwards. I should call my grandmother more and go out more with my friends.
- Robot things that I say to myself without thinking. I don’t need Mr Dubai’s computer voice to whisper to me because I do a good enough job of that.
- Things I am convinced that I need right now, but matter very little in the long term. I invest too much time thinking about the next iPhone and not enough time thinking about how to organize my bills. Then again, iPhones are way more fun than bills.
- Insecurities. Insecurities are things that you wish you could change but can’t. They eat at you, as if you had a mouse that lives inside of you eating away at the edges. It’s a problem and soon you look scrawny and your mouse is fat. Funny, but your insecurities are someone else’s secret wishes. You may not talk very well but another person wishes they could shut up. You may need to lose a few pounds but someone else wishes they could find a good meal. At some point, we just need to find a way to say that we are enough.
- Fear and anxiety. I can’t change the future but it’s too fun to not worry about it. Anxiety is trying to change the future and guilt tries to time travel into the past. Both of these things keep the spam folder busy. A present can be unwrapped because it is in the present, and not the future nor the past. Unwrap more of yourself and just be. Today.
Nine Ways to Un-Spam Your Life
Your spam folder might be full of different things than mine, but I guarantee that you have one. Websites have them, email addresses have them and you have one.
Go ahead, hit the empty button. But if you are like me, you can’t just get rid of the spam because it sticks around.
- You can drink, eat or do drugs. You can get angry and kick things. You can speed and yell at the police. None of that stuff works. I have done most of it and it did not work too well. You just end up frustrated.
- Therapy can help. It is expensive, but it can change your life.
- Talking is good and just saying stuff to someone else seems to empty the basket a little.
- Writing helps and for some people because story is powerful.
- Screaming into a pillow can help but you don’t know what you will scream about. You may need to scream at your therapist instead.
- I have friends who go to confession and they like that.
- Some people like to write on the bathroom wall.
- Other people paint or do some graffiti.
- You can do Yoga and stretch your glutes until they are gluten free.
Whatever we can do to express our story will empty the folder a bit. But it takes vulnerability.
Don’t listen to Mr. Dubai or Ms. Indiagirl. Your spam folder is full of lies. Your Web Admin lectures you about being more in control of your life, and sorry but you can only control yourself in little daily allotments. Little choices work better than lifestyle overhauls. Don’t buy what they are selling or listen to the infomercials.
You just don’t need to pay money to get some change. If you feel unhappy, just feel it. Maybe you need it to motivate you to eat more vegetables and walk more. You can’t buy your way to happiness, but you can walk there. I know, because I go on a walk almost every day and I find happiness about ten minutes in.
I think the point of the spam folder is to get our attention. When it is full, don’t sit around listening to it because it’s full of all of your spammy-crap. Pay attention and do something.
I just deleted Mr Dubai and Indiagirl. It feels great to delete them. They will be back, next time with different names. Spam is like that.
Choose yourself, tell your story and hit delete. Join me in the comments and join our community. Tell me what you do to unspam your life.
Keep it Real
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Photo by Sean MacEntee